The cover of the Circus album reveals a number of disturbing truths that no amount of photoshopping can conceal. Britney’s eyes are vacuous and glaring into a camera, deadened from a combination of the various mental illnesses festering inside her noticeably large head, and the endless supply of medication she is force-fed for breakfast. Britney looks every bit as corpse-like as she did in her Blackout era. The difference is that the producers have painted her skin purple, pink and gold in hopes of increasing her marketability.
Spears' inner turmoil unintentionally makes a cameo for the cover-art of this abysmal album.
2007 was no walk in the park for our B-girl (the rumoured title of her forthcoming album. Sounds too bad to be true.). Her penchant for divorce, custody battles, and late-night drives down misery lane all contributed to the tragedy the world watched unfold through the unscrupulous media in early 2008. Now that it has been revealed that her conservatorship has been extended, Britney’s carefully hidden but ever-present sorrow, which makes its presence know every now and then through weeping fits and dangerous acts of impulsivity, seems as deeply wedged into the singers true identity (not to be confused with the club-happy nymphomanic persona we see in her videos) as it has ever been.
Such is the current image of the blonde tabloid queen. She frequently appears in newspaper columns and on music channels, yet she is rarely present in person either physically or mentally. Fortunately, the tabloids are soothing Spears rather than stoning her ever since 2008. Since being sectioned, Spears has been placed under conservatorship, which as I mentioned above, has been extended. All is not as well as Circus would have you believe.
But, not to worry. Image must always be separated from the actual music. After all, 2007 saw the release of Spears’ pop masterpiece, and her greatest album, Blackout. The singer was depressed, lonely and completely unhinged during the production of the album, yet it emerged as a grand and highly underappreciated triumph. Perhaps this adds fuel to the myth that an artists’ greatest work is created when they are in their lowest spirits.
Too bad that Circus doesn’t quite match up to its predecessor. The production is bland and never expands into anything interesting. The second song on the album, Out From Under, is a cover of a Bratz song, as every bit as whiny and insincere sounding as its source. Womanizer attempts to replicate the dark sounding production present in Blackout and fails, as does Kill The Lights. Circus, If U Seek Amy (clever, Max! sigh) and Shattered Glass fulfill their roles as generic pop garbage that weary sensible listeners after a few scant plays. Mmm Papi sounds like a seven-year old girl got a tape-recorder for her birthday, and sang along to the sound of traffic. My Baby will make you cry. At first you will assume the song is shooting for irony, but the realization that this track was written by Britney herself will inflate some balloons for a pity party. The best song on the album was taken from her previous album, Blackout, and tacked on at the end for contract reasons. Go figure.
Unusual You is a highlight, however, though hardly a masterpiece, and certainly not enough to redeem an album that is every bit as dull and lifeless as the situation of its struggling vocalist. The singer also embarked on a world tour to support the album, which is every bit as banal and supportive of my observations as this album. She may not be writing the songs, but Britney seems to merge her current self with her music, regardless.
Now, the deceptively ambitious songstress has announced the release of a new album next year. Unlike some of her peers, such as the infinitely less charming Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake, something inside Britney motivates her to constantly push out new tunes, but for some reason, I doubt it’s a desperate attempt to remain successful in the music industry. That credit belongs to the likes of Beyoncé and Madonna. No, it’s something else that drives Britney…perhaps an internal emptiness that can only be fulfilled by lip-synching in front of thousands. The vomit-inducing custard curtain from the album cover has been pulled on her recent Circus era, so it seems, but the drama never really ends.
So something is up with my computer again. I can’t seem to get it to load youtube or google correctly and other problems are happening. Oh wait nvm got it. Anyway so today’s video is the Pepsi Commercial featuring Britney Spears. This was when I thought she was pretty good. Anyway it’s the full commercial that you only got to see if you watched the Superbowl which I don’t do because my attention span is so not there. Anyway I was watching Good Morning America and well I saw part of this commercial on for one of the stories they were covering. I don’t remember which. So enjoy. Today’s tip is no matter how much we humans learn there will still be one question we can’t answer. WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? Yeah still waiting for my friends to say omg you are such a dork. None have yet.
Real Man Shit – to perform the actions of a real man
A favourite with the Top Gear team, the Bugatti Veyron is the ultimate prestige car. It is one of the fastest, most powerful, and most expensive street-legal production car available in the world at the moment; one of these beauties will set you back nearly £900, 000. This masterpiece of vehicular design is rarer than a paparazzi photo of Britney wearing knickers; it is thought that there are only 12 in Britain. If money was no object (it only manages 7 miles to the gallon!) this is the car the I would buy.
Budding Jimmy McRaes who find themselves bored with Citroen Saxos and Ford Fiestas and who have a bit cash to flash may consider graduating to the Subaru Impreza. With this car, merely breathing on the accelerator is enough to ensure the driver feels the seat pressing into their back as the vehicle surges forward. Downsides to this car include expensive parts prices and frequent service intervals. Some also feature cheap, plasticky interiors.
The Mini was a classic of British design for over four decades. And then the Germans got hold of it. Their Mini is not mini so it is an insult to its predecessor to call it so. The original Mini was built to dimensions of only 10×4x4 ft but still manages to be surprisingly roomy as the designers thoughtfully assigned 6 ft of the length to passenger space. I had heard some people complain that changing gear was like stirring porridge but while it is certainly stiffer than in new cars it is still surprisingly smooth. The fact that this car is so fun to drive ensures that it will remain a firm favourite for years to come.
When you hit 40 the stereotypical vehicular purchase is a motorbike. Sod that! Stay dry and satisfy your inner teenager with the Volkswagen Golf GTi - spcifically the Mk3. It is quite simply fantastic. Going from one of these back to your average small motor, feels kind of like going from a champion racehorse to the oldest, meanest nag at a donkey derby. It also has enough room in it for half the extended family plus a bootful of shopping. The original Golf GTi, in 1976, accelerated to 62mph in 9.0 seconds; today’s GTi is capable of effortlessly reaching the same speed in 7.2 seconds. The transmission is incredibly smooth and the handling is also far superior to most smaller cars as you can throw one of these into a corner and come out the other side with all four wheels on the ground; try the same manoeuvre in a super-mini and you will, more than likely, end up with it on its roof.