It's friday night...

and I just got paid. No not really, but I have always wanted to use that phrase. Anyway so I was surfing the web yesterday and I came across this video of Wanda Sykes interview with Conan. It was her asking the question “Did I have Sex with Tiger” and I must say I busted out laughing. I mean she has a point. The count is up to what 14 plus a “link” to Jessica Simpson. The sad part is that now me an my boss joke about it every chance we get. You know asking the question and stuff. Plus with his wife now filing for divorce (shocker) I guess that means he can come back to golf now. I mean come on 14 women. That kinda goes beyond getting couples therapy. Just makes you wonder how the hell did these mistresses not know about the others? See these are the type of things me and my boss talk about when we joke about tiger. Anyway I watched the Saturday Night Live Christmas Special yesterday. Yeah not as funny as I thought it would be. I was expecting you know tons of clips from old shows, but they showed a lot more of the recent ones (which aren’t as funny) and when they did show some of the old clips they would cut them off and go to commercial. Oh well they got me watching which is all the wanted. Well squiby time. So something is up with my computer again. I can’t seem to get it to load youtube or google correctly and other problems are happening. Oh wait nvm got it. Anyway so today’s video is the Pepsi Commercial featuring Britney Spears. This was when I thought she was pretty good. Anyway it’s the full commercial that you only got to see if you watched the Superbowl which I don’t do because my attention span is so not there. Anyway I was watching Good Morning America and well I saw part of this commercial on for one of the stories they were covering. I don’t remember which. So enjoy. Today’s tip is no matter how much we humans learn there will still be one question we can’t answer. WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? Yeah still waiting for my friends to say omg you are such a dork. None have yet.

[Via http://dragontamer1544.wordpress.com]

Don't Like, WORST of the Decade (Art): The Britney Spears Pro-Life Statue (NSFW?)

http://jessicabober.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/britneystatue.JPG

1) Irony will never die. It’s here to stay, for better or worse.

2) If it did, it was not in the wake of 9/11 when it the declaration was highly popular, but instead with the creation of this statue.

Why? Because at the time of the release, there was an honest to goodness belief that this was indeed a pro-life statue meant to honor Miss Spears’ “commitment to put her children ahead of her career.” Actual quotes from the artist, Danie Edwards. Look at it again. The bear skin rug. The pose. The legs akimbo. The crowning, my god the crowning. Was this truly some pro-lifer whose unfiltered id puked up a nonsensical, counterproductive, and all-together heinous  sculpture? Much like Stephanie Meyer, the “fabulous idiot” did with her Twilight series? Or was it merely the work of a subversive genius who was working a front in a “Borat” like capacity?

The truth is it was sort of both. Daniel Edwards is not a genius. Check out his wikipedia page. Yup. The body of his work seems to define the word inane. Specifically inane shock art. Probably attention whore too. Really he defines a lot of terrible qualities.  Then again he’s made a living off art, which probably makes him some kind of Machiavellian genius considering how impossibly hard that is to do. But still he’s a shock artist who sort of stumbled into this limbo zone where his impossibly zany decisions  rendered one of his sculptures bizarre enough to capture the public’s attention. To this day I have no idea what to make of it. I just feel confident in labeling this guy a terrible artist who stumbled into something that is both frighteningly dumb and fascinatingly dumb.

And thus the logic of irony collapse in on itself, like in “Timecop” where the same matter occupying same space. Altough that can’t be true because I just used irony.  No one would ever make a serious “Timecop reference.” Nobody.

And now the horror of the crowning shot.

http://www.spudland.com/cache/pics/32890ea0d3d71ed4b7796ab8ce250584.jpg

[Via http://stuffilikeandstuffidontlike.wordpress.com]

Real Man Shit

Real Man Shit – to perform the actions of a real man

This idea was first brought to me through the brillant thoughts of the Big Hug (Local Goon).  The concept of real man shit is pretty straight forward but let me explain. Going to a Britney Spears concert is not real man shit. However, buying front row tickets to a Britney Spears concert for the sole purpose of trying to look up her skirt is real man shit. Bud Light Limes = not Real Man Shit. 6 Bud Light Limes consumed at one time through a funnel = Real Man Shit. Got it? Ok. Now I will proceed to my top 5.

5.  Going to a buffet, eating till you can’t possibly eat anymore, and then having another plate

4.  Drinking over 30  beers in a day just to prove a point… and believe me, it’s been done

3.  Fixing your car with glue, duct tape, or bungee cords

2.  Paying a hooker to be your date for a  wedding

1.   Taking a shit while drinking a beer, smoking a joint, or eating a cheeseburger… and yes, it has to be a cheeseburger

[Via http://hustlewomens.com]

Diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks

Five Iconic Cars

 

The prestige icon

A favourite with the Top Gear team, the Bugatti Veyron is the ultimate prestige car. It is one of the fastest, most powerful, and most expensive street-legal production car available in the world at the moment; one of these beauties will set you back nearly £900, 000. This masterpiece of vehicular design is rarer than a paparazzi photo of Britney wearing knickers; it is thought that there are only 12 in Britain. If money was no object (it only manages 7 miles to the gallon!) this is the car the I would buy.

 

 

 

 

 

The Boy Racer icon 

Budding Jimmy McRaes who find themselves bored with Citroen Saxos and Ford Fiestas and who have a bit cash to flash may consider graduating to the Subaru Impreza. With this car, merely breathing on the accelerator is enough to ensure the driver feels the seat pressing into their back as the vehicle surges forward. Downsides to this car include expensive parts prices and frequent service intervals. Some also feature cheap, plasticky interiors.

 

 

 

 

 

The small icon

 

Often dismissed as “The Chick and Gay Guy’s car”, no discerning straight bloke would be seen dead in one of these, and we cannot for the life of us figure out why. The styling may be a bit cutesy but the 1.3l engine is incredibly torquey and even a girl could maintain the engine with its simple layout. There’s just something about it; that curvaceous body, the sculpted headlights and those distinctive bumpers – if J-Lo was a car, she’d be a KA. Then there is the insurance premium; despite having a relatively big engine for a small city run-around, it’s only insurance group 2 meaning only a minor dent in your wallet. Add to that, WhatCar? rates it as incredibly reliable meaning fewer trips to the garage and more money in your pocket. With all that sorted, the only thing left is to debate the correct pronunciation. Kah or Kay-ay?

 

 

 

The Vintage icon

The Mini was a classic of British design for over four decades. And then the Germans got hold of it. Their Mini is not mini so it is an insult to its predecessor to call it so. The original Mini was built to dimensions of only 10×4x4 ft but still manages to be surprisingly roomy as the designers thoughtfully assigned 6 ft of the length to passenger space. I had heard some people complain that changing gear was like stirring porridge but while it is certainly stiffer than in new cars it is still surprisingly smooth. The fact that this car is so fun to drive ensures that it will remain a firm favourite for years to come.

 

 

 

 

The mid-life crisis icon

When you hit 40 the stereotypical vehicular purchase is a motorbike. Sod that! Stay dry and satisfy your inner teenager with the Volkswagen Golf GTi - spcifically the Mk3. It is quite simply fantastic. Going from one of these back to your average small motor, feels kind of like going from a champion racehorse to the oldest, meanest nag at a donkey derby. It also has enough room in it for half the extended family plus a bootful of shopping. The original Golf GTi, in 1976, accelerated to 62mph in 9.0 seconds; today’s GTi is capable of effortlessly reaching the same speed in 7.2 seconds. The transmission is incredibly smooth and the handling is also far superior to most smaller cars as you can throw one of these into a corner and come out the other side with all four wheels on the ground; try the same manoeuvre in a super-mini and you will, more than likely, end up with it on its roof.

[Via http://kirstyltopping.wordpress.com]

Billboard's TOP 20 artists of the DECADE

posted by keasyy

Billboard released their top artists of the DECADE

1. Eminem

2. Usher

3. Nelly

4. Beyonce

5. Alicia Keys

6. 50 Cent

7. Nickleback

8. Britney Spears

9. Destiny’s Child

10. Jay-Z

Beyonce is the #1 female artists!! (woo-hoo) i agree with that… but #3 being Nelly??? Jay-z being #10??? see 11-20 after the jump!

11. Mariah Carey 12. The Black Eyed Peas 13. Pink 14. Kelly Clarkson 15. Kanye West 16. Ludacris 17. Rihanna 18. Creed 19. Linkin Park 20. Christina Aguilera some of these are soooo….

[Via http://thecreolecorner.com]

Where have all the heroes gone?

This whole week, the media has been buzzing with “The Story of Tiger.”  Did Tiger cheat? Did Elin bash him with a golf club instead of try to free him as first reported?  Was he really drunk and it just took so many hours to investigate to let him burn off the buzz…

Blood in the water, bring on the sharks.

We’ve been there before.  Some colleagues and I were having a business lunch today and we rattled off a litany of “priors” that have run the same sad gauntlet of media and public speculation. It’s nothing new, but it IS sad.

Why?  Because people like Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, Wilt Chamberlin, Michael Jackson, President Bill Clinton, Alex Rodriguez, Pete Rose,  Barry Bonds, O.J. Simpson, Britney Spears,  Derek Jeter, Jackie Joyner, Micheal Phelps have something in common, and it’s probably not what you think.

They are all heroes who have disappointed us.

It’s a significant issue.  All those people in the list were public figures that kids idolized.  “I want to be President of the United States someday.”  “I want to be as talented as Michael Jackson.”  “Wow, when I grow up, I want to be just like Tiger.” My own daughter revered Tiger for the longest time; she couldn’t watch a golf tournament in which he didn’t play because, as she’d say, “What’s the point?  He’s the BEST!”

It’s not that we don’t believe these people aren’t human. Certainly they have the same foibles and human “natures” as the rest of us do. But, really, when you become a role model for so many — particularly young people — you have  a certain responsibility.  We EXPECT our role models to be held, and to hold themselves, to a higher standard than the rest of ordinary humanity. When they have so much more, we expect them to be so much more.

Integrity, responsibility, accountability.  Big concepts. Recently I’ve bee nusing this phrase to talk about the “new integrity,” as I call it.  “Integrity is being really, really sorry when you get caught doing wrong, but it’s not what prevents you from doing wrong to begin with.”

And, what’s also disturbing is WHY these kids idolize their heroes to begin with.  Ask a child why they think Alex Rodriguez is their hero, or why they looked up to Britney Spears or Lil Wayne, you’ll likely get the answer “because they’re FAMOUS,” or “they have so much MONEY!” or “Man, they’re so tight!”  Our kids worship these celebrities not for their positive values, but for the fame, fortune, or notoriety they have managed to collect doing what they do in the public eye.

Contrast that with just a few years ago when the most admired individual was Pope John Paul.  This is not to say we should worship religious figures, but think of the “heroes” we had not too long ago:  Mother Teresa, John Glenn, John Wayne (no, they don’t HAVE to be named “John” to be a hero), Neil Armstrong,  Jimmy Stewart, Orel Hershheiser, Jackie Robinson, Jesse Owens, Wilma Rudolph, Colin Powell, Norman Schwartzkopf…to name a few. 

But, it’s really only a few, when you really stop to think about it. The point is these heroes were people that we respected for their VALUES as much as their fame. They were famous people who were also GOOD people. Celebrities who didn’t let their celebrity become an excuse for being outside the rules of decency.  They didn’t act like they deserved any special treatment or exceptions because they were “famous.”  And, in fact, it’s probably their humility as much as anything else they were known for that made them extra-special.

We all need more real heroes.  Our kids particularly need positive role models that not only accomplish things we admire them for, but also live and practice good character. Celebrities and public figures should particularly know that they are inspiration and examples to so many kids, in so many different situations. As the saying goes, “character is what we are when no one is looking.” This means that our heroes have to not only talk the talk, but walk the walk as a way of living their lives. Because, as so many of our fallen heroes have learned, even when no one is looking, you can bet someone is watching.  And waiting for YOU to be the next one we used to look up to who let us down.

[Via http://socialsmarts.wordpress.com]

Weekly Countdown #119

People, sorry for the late update because of the owner’s business in school recently. I will fix this soon.

New Entries are marked with bold letters.

10. Michael Jackson – This Is It

9. Air – Sing Sang Sung

8. Amanda Blank – Something Bigger, Something Better

7. Black Eyed Peas – Meet Me Halfway

6. Leona Lewis – Happy

5. Alicia Keys – Doesn’t Mean Anything

4. Michael Bublé – Haven’t Met You Yet

3. La Roux – I’m Not Your Toy

2. Whitney Houston – Million Dollar Bill

1. Britney Spears – 3

Britney released her first compilation album, named “The Singles Collection”. This album is released for 10th anniversary of Britney’s music career, selling almost 90 million copies in her last 5 albums, and making a very successful hits like “Baby One More Time” and “Toxic”.

[Via http://kevinghetto.wordpress.com]